What to Feed a Baby

There is one thing I regret of doing while Hiro was still a newborn.  It is that I should have tried harder on breastfeeding him.   I had difficulty feeding him from breast (because of my nipple shape and also the size of Hiro’s mouth etc) but I think the problem should have been solved if I had tried harder and continued doing it longer.  I didn’t want to give up on giving him breast milk, so I expressed using an electric pump and gave him with a bottle. It had became a regular routine, and he got so used to the bottles that eventually forgot how to suck on nipples.

At my friends’ house I see them breastfeeding their babies and it looks so natural.  On the other hand, I have to carry a bottle of expressed breast milk (EBM) or formula to feed my baby everywhere I go.  It’s not a big deal, I know.  The important thing is to feed him and not letting him feel hungry.  But, somehow I feel that I failed.

When I visited a Japanese playgroup with Hiro, I had to warm up a bottle of formula.  Then I noticed other mums watching me and telling me “oh, you are feeding him formula….” with an “interesting-look”.  I felt they’re thinking why I’m not breastfeeding my baby.  Also, while chatting with other mums, they were saying that breast milk is the best and you can tell if the baby is breastmilk-fed or formula-fed by their sizes.  I know breast milk is the best, and I’m not giving Hiro formula because it’s easy to prepare.  I wanted to yell at them, but I was shocked when my friend agreed with them and said that she wouldn’t want to give her baby more than 120ml of formula a day.  She knew I give Hiro quite lots of formula.

In Japan, I feel, they are more serious about breastfeeding, and they judge other people by what they feed their babies; breast milk or formula.  They are proud of breastfeeding their babies until the babies reach 2 years old, or giving ONLY breast milk at least for the first 6 months.  I’ve been asked this question  “do you breastfeed your baby?” by doctor, nurse, or Japanese mothers.  I don’t know why they are so obsessed about this.  Of course not everyone is like that, and maybe it’s all in my head, but I felt that mums at the playgroup were looking down on me for feeding formula to my baby.  The experience kind of made me feel shame of being not able to breastfeed my baby and giving formula.

Well, what can I do?  Since then I don’t want to feed Hiro in front of other Japanese mums, especially while they breastfeed their babies.  I shouldn’t care about what other think, like D tells me, but somehow I still feel shame.

When Hiro was around 6 months old I started giving him rice cereal as his first solids. I thought it’s one of the best food to start since everyone (child health nurse, people on internet, etc) recommended it to give babies for the first food.  I didn’t have any doubt about it, and Hiro took it pretty well.  After rice cereal I moved on to hand-made pureed vegetables (carrots, pumpkins, sweet potatoes, zucchini, etc).  Then, again, I heard some Japanese mums complaining about feeding rice cereal to the babies.  In Japan, very soft rice porridge (o-kayu) is a typical first solids to babies, and they think that store-bought pack of rice cereal is a not good food to start with.  Hmmmmm…… why they care about such small thing? I mean, someone gives rice cereal, someone gives home-made porridge, it doesn’t matter.  It’s everyone’s choice and they don’t need to complain about it in public.  Yes I did give my baby rice cereal, but was it wrong thing to do?  I don’t think so.  After “rice cereal” subject, they now started talking about commercial baby foods.  Yes, complaining again.  I can’t stand people who complain all the time.  🙁   What to feed babies is everyone’s choice!