Little Depressed Here…

Posted August 14th, 2012 in Ume's Thought 4 Comments »

I’m gonna write about me now.

I’ve been down recently.  It happens to me sometimes – I don’t know if it is because of my blood type AB, or my star sign Pisces, or the weather, or the flu I’m starting to catch – but I just can’t feel right and have to cry until my tear stops.

Crying has been my method of getting rid of stress since I was a child.  I feel good after crying everything out.

I really have a doubt that I may have depression.  Actually I’ve thought about it when I was little too.  Sometimes I feel that everything around me is so miserable, but I can’t talk about it to anyone else.  I thought no one would understand.

I think hormone is playing the majority, but it could be my blood type AB? Most of the time I’m ok, thinking positively and easy-going.  But suddenly I feel that no one really cares about me and I’m alone.

I think I need to be bit more busy.  If I have really nothing to do, I start thinking about many things in my head.

If I was alone, I’d probably go to another place and do things, like volunteering in Africa.  I could go to a temple in Kyoto and do meditation for weeks.  There are many things I could do…

Hang on.   Now I think that I can still do these things.  It’s my life, and is not over yet.  When I was a teenager I was enjoying everyday because I had a big dream of coming to Australia.  Now I’m here in Australia, and have husband & beautiful Hiro.  My situation here should be a pretty good one.  I feel something is missing, it’s because I have nothing I can look up to future.

Writing about it here made me feel much better.  Thanks Umeboss blog.  Now I’m gonna list up in my diary what I can do in coming years.

4 Comments on “Little Depressed Here…”

  1. 1 Paul (@BlueKutsu) said at 9:31 am on August 14th, 2012:

    Sometimes it’s good to write down your feelings and vent. I do it too sometimes (and by the way, I’m also AB and Pisces…but I’m not so sure being depressed sometimes is limited to us ;)).

    Anyway, glad you’re working out your feelings. Hope you feel better soon! What you say is true – even aside from raising your child (or children), you’re still young and there are lots of possibilities for meaningful accomplishments in the future.

  2. 2 umepontarou said at 6:36 pm on August 14th, 2012:

    Hi Paul,

    Thanks so much for your comment. You made me feel & realise that I’m not alone.
    I appreciate what you said, and yes I will try to find what I want to do and what I want to be in coming years.
    Cheers 😉

  3. 3 Megan said at 2:47 pm on August 15th, 2012:

    I hope you are feeling much better today.
    Sometimes life does just drag along and it feels like there is nothing happening. I’m sorry to hear it gets you down, but as you know, you are not alone.
    I’m so happy to hear that you are off to Bali AT LAST and that your spirits feel lifted, looking forward to that!!
    I hope you can blog from there too.
    Here’s wishing you lots of things to smile about and let the countdown to BALI begin 🙂

  4. 4 umepontarou said at 7:03 pm on August 15th, 2012:

    Thank you Megan!!
    Yes, I am so looking forward to it, and hope we all have a wonderful time there 🙂 It will be my dad’s first time to go to Indonesia as well, so I’m excited that I can see him the culture of the country where my husband is from.

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